Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Am I Ready For This? A Confession for the New Year

So, I've been keeping something from you for the last two weeks. Something I am terrified to share. I think I'm afraid that writing it here will tempt fate or whatever to yank it all away from me, again. But then this morning I decided that hiding and pretending its not happening isn't going to protect me. It won't save me from any pain, just from the support of my friends. So here goes- (deep breath)-I found out two weeks ago that I am pregnant again. There I said it. I am terrified, numb, elated and just the tiniest bit hopeful.

I'm not ready to hear anyone say anything that starts with the letter "C" and ends with "tions", so in the tradition of many bloggers before me, let's just stick with "NBHHY" *




* Nothing Bad Has Happened Yet

13 comments:

charmedgirl said...

wow...heavy.

i have been going back and forth in my own head about whether i even want to chance that happening to me again...it's so confusing.

things are going to get interesting, or so i've read on other p-after-loss blogs. how can it not? you write, i'll be here.

c. said...

I'm hopeful for you, Ashleigh. You've lightened my heart a little with your "confession". XO.

missing_one said...

wow.

I just don't know what to say, just know I am thinking of you

Coggy said...

:o)
:o)
:o)

I really want to say the C......ns word but I won't.

I'm really happy for you Ashleigh, really happy. I know how massive this step is but I know somehow you'll cope. Just remember although we are all here cheering you on and wishing nothing but joy for you in 2008.
Doesn't one of the loss books say something about trying to protect yourself by being pessimistic? I think the conclusion is that it won't make it any better, like you say it'll still be painful. So here's to being optimistic and elated and definitely hopeful.
Wow what a way to start the year!
Big hugs C x x xx

Beautiful Curve said...

Thank you for the good wishes, that I gladly wish to you.

I hope that we can be truly happy months from now with our healthy happy babies. *HOPE*

I am really frightened.

Monica said...

It may take a while to hear the C word.. or even except that you are Pr..(in case you can't hear that word). But you CAN do this.

a- said...

Ashleigh, I'm sure you're in for a roller coaster of a time but at least you have some tangible hope. Hang on. Write about it. I'm here reading with hopes of my own. I'll save the "C" word for later.

Becca said...

I'm also hopeful for you. I know this doesn't take away the pain of losing Owen, but it brings hope. I'll also refrain from saying the C word, but know that I'm here rooting for you.

2008 is going to be a good year. I just know it. We've all had a bad 2007, it can't get any worse!

yummysushipajamas said...

I am SOOO thrilled for you!!! I will be thinking of you and praying for you every moment!

Kristi said...

I'm hopeful for you! It is a scary roller coaster, but so worth it!

Meg said...

I am delighted to follow you in this journey. Seriously....full of hope right now!

Rosalind said...

I too go back and forth..It's very confusing

I'm thinking of you and always here

BasilBean said...

I heard of your news through Coggy's blog and had to come over to let you know that another woman is out here wishing you all the best.