Sunday, December 30, 2007

5 Months

Another month has passed. Soon Owen will have been gone longer than he was with me. Now, if that's not a dubious milestone I don't know what is.

As I've mentioned before, I've been working really hard to deal with what is and not what might have been, but in moments like these I can't help but dream of the family we might have had...........

7 comments:

Coggy said...

That's the anniversary I'm dreading. The dead longer than alive one. Really I can't get my head round it at the moment.

yummysushipajamas said...

I know just what you mean. I am concerned about that one myself. I have another six weeks before I hit it.

I am so sorry for this. I know how hard it is. I will be thinking of you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

c. said...

I'm sorry you've almost reached that milestone, Ashleigh. The reality of that anniversary never even crossed my mind...until now. I can only imagine how you feel. We've lost so much already and every day we continue to be reminded of it, in so many different ways. It's awful.

kalakly said...

I know it feels like everyday we walk foward we are leaving them farther and farther behind. I am right there with you, anniversary wise, Sept 1.-Jan 1...Happy New Year right??????

I'm thinking of you and Owen and your family. Not that that helps much, but I am.:)

Jennifer said...

Ugh...I hadn't even thought of that anniversary yet. So many anniversaries that we seem to reach daily and they all suck because no matter what the result is still the same. :-( I'm sorry and know that I'm thinking of you.

charmedgirl said...

i can't help but think (and i know i've been reading about) that each day is just crappy, in and of itself. just because there's a dead baby in my life. my mind can work up every possible anniversary, but in the end, it's still just another day when my baby is still dead.

dealing with what is and not what could have been. good one. i'm going to try to let that sink in.

a- said...

Ashleigh, I've never even thought of it that way. Damn. Talk about mindf*cks.