Thursday, January 17, 2008

In the Meantime

Well, as usual, life has gotten in the way of my blog time. K, my 2.5 year old seems to be giving up her afternoon nap (much to my dismay), so there goes a big chunk of my computer time. I've been working on a couple posts here and there, but nothing that I feel like finishing right now.

So, until I can get things figured out again, I thought I'd share something that happened at my midwife appointment last week. I mentioned how I got a surprise ultrasound but I didn't really share the details of how things went down. The midwife very kindly suggested that we take a look to try put my mind at ease for the time being. She rolls in what looks like the first ultrasound machine ever invented. This thing looked old. It reminded me of the old Apple IIe computers from my middle school computer lab (am I dating myself here?). Anyway, she explains that she needs use a transvagin@l probe and starts kind of apologizing for it. I was sort of laughing about it. Once she pulls the image on the screen, I can see the little flicker of a heartbeat and before I know it tears are just streaming down my face. D., the midwife, tries to get a better image and tries to measure the baby, etc. and she's not having much luck.

So then she says, "You know I'm really sorry this isn't a better picture. It's an old machine and I'm definitely not a sonographer."

I laughed and said, "Don't worry, this is already way better than my last ultrasound experience."

Without looking up, she says, "Oh really, how's that?"

"Well, for starters, this baby's heart is beating..." I began.

She stopped and looked at me. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't think..I mean I wasn't...I'm sorry, that was really stupid of me."

"No,no. It's OK." I said still smiling.

And you know what? It really was OK.


Clarissa said...

Wow! I have said the reassuring “its okay” line before. And yes, for me – ‘its okay’ for the person not to be sensitive to not knowing our situation – but it’s still not okay it happened. I’m assuming this is along the same lines of how you feel.

c. said...

I say "It's okay" to people all the time. Sometimes it is okay and sometimes it just isn't. Your midwife sounds like a sweetie. I think it would have been okay for me in this instance, too :o)

charmedgirl said...

i say that all the time too. people really don't know what the hell to say to us, i guess we better just get used to it. and when i say it's ok? it usually is, because it probably means we were talking about p@ige and i don't get to that often.

i'm glad things are going ok for you.

Jennifer said...

I cried while reading your post. Hearing the heartbeat was always my favorite part of my ultrasounds. Of course, I was naive and never imagined that it wouldn't be beating. Now...I know better and know how very precious that thumping really is. I'm so happy for you.

And by the way, I tell people all the time that it's ok. It really is for them.

Coggy said...

I'm glad it was OK and I'm glad you're midwife actually thought to apologise and she does sound sweet.
I say it's OK a lot too. Most of the time I don't mean it. I just can't help it. Someone says, I'm so sorry and out it pops, 'it's OK'. When it clearly isn't.
But I think seeing such an amazing thing as you saw, however fuzzy, might make it be just a little bit more OK.

missing_one said...

hey, so if you get to the point where you need your kid to nap I have the formula for you
Lunch, play at the park for an hour, then hop on the freeway until they go to sleep, then go straight home, trasfer them to their bed...and relax while they nap
My son went through this a few months ago (he'll be three in May) and we only did it a few months and now he's back on the nap schedule

I'm glad the ultrasound went ok..considering

yummysushipajamas said...

Oh, I am SO thrilled for you!!! That is wonderful.

a- said...

Nice. Very nice. I got my much needed warm fuzzy for the night.

P.S. I know what an appleIIe looks like too. hee hee

kalakly said...

yep, sometimes it just has to be okay...nice that this time it really was okay, considering:)

So happy things are just growing right along!

Rosalind said...

I always say it's okay cause sometimes I just don't know what else to say ...

I'm so happy everything is 'okay' with you...yeah!

lifecanbeashit said...

Seeing that hb is just magic!!


CLC said...

I got all choked up reading that. I can't imagine your emotions right now, but I hope they are happy ones.

Monica said...

I'm glad it was a good ultrasound. All of my ultrasounds in my subsequent pregnancy all began with me asking, "is the baby alive?"..

And I say "it's ok" all the time.