Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Story- Part V

Owen was beautiful. He was big for his gestation. 3 pounds 3 ounces and 15 inches long at just barely 27 weeks. He had long thin feet like K. He had my father’s nose and my husband’s eyebrows. He had a tiny bit of the dark wavy hair J had been born with. I unwrapped him and examined every part of his tiny body; his long fingers and tiny penis, his perfect ears and miniscule toenails. I noted the places on his feet and legs where his skin had already begun peeling. I was in love with all of these things. He looked peaceful.
As the hours passed, JD and I took turns holding him and kissing him, whispering to him, and trying to memorize his tiny body. We had a lifetime of parenting to squeeze into those hours. We cried a lot but also laughed some. He had hairy shoulders just like his dad.
Soon, some of the physical changes that accompany death began to take place. I took a blanket and wiped away the fluid that began to leak from his nose. I remember the nurse was distressed by this and offered to take him then. But I wanted to care for him. I knew it was my only chance.


Jenny said...

Ashleigh thank you sharing your story and your little Owen. I'm sorry that he is not with you. It sucks! (((Hugs)))

Angel Mom said...

What a beautiful baby boy. I'm so sorry he is no longer with you.

Brooke said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous baby Owen. I know what you mean about needing to take care of him, I held my son for hours and had to continuously wipe his little nose and lips. It didnt bother me at all, it was the only time I would have to actively parent him.

Your Owen is precious :)