Saturday, March 15, 2008

It Happened

So the thing I've been dreading and hoping for since I found out I was pregnant has happened. Last night as I lay watching TV before bed, I felt the first little bumps from this new person. Right now no one knows. Its my secret...and now yours. It makes me smile, and cry, and miss Owen. The thumps are different this time, gentler, more tentative. It's as if this one wants me to know that he or she is a different person. I appreciate that. I think I'm falling in love. It's terrifying and wonderful.

15 comments:

yummysushipajamas said...

Oh I am SO happy to hear this. Of course you are falling in love with this precious new life, just like you should! Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

niobe said...

I can only imagine how terrifying and wonderful it must be.

CLC said...

That's heartwarming to hear. I can imagine the terror and wonderfulness of it too. I am just so happy for you.

charmedgirl said...

god my heart sank a little when i read this...when i dare even think about it possibly ever happening again, i can't help but think i want to keep it all a secret, all to myself.

it must be terrifying and wonderful. and alot of other things, too.

c. said...

I'm smiling. From ear to ear. Just smiling. I'm very happy you let us in on your secret, Ashleigh. XO.

STE said...

"terrifying and wonderful"

Sounds exactly right. Thank you for sharing it.

Clarissa said...

Well that's a nice thing to hear.

G said...

Man, this scared me when I first started to read it.

Awww, I am so happy for you. Go little bump, go.

kalakly said...

Yay baby! I can't imagine it Ashliegh, but I know I want it. I hope it's more wondeful than terrifying, I really do. Yay you too:)

Sarah said...

I lost my daughter Isabel the day before you lost Owen. And I also - yesterday - felt the baby from this new pregnancy moving for the first time. It's sort of wonderful and terrifying, and the first time this pregnancy has completely moved from abstract to forcing me to feel invested.

Sarah said...

Terrifying and wonderful is an understatement...I lost my daughter the day before you lost Owen, and I am also pregnant again. I actually just yesterday felt newbaby moving for the first time. It instantly moves the pregnancy from abstract and solidly into the realm of real things that I have to address and deal with. Crazy reassuring scary :)

Janis said...

I just found your blog. It made my heart skipped becoz my son was stillborn a day before Owen, on 7/29.
I can only imagine the trepidations you feel for this pregnancy, yet I can also feel so much love, and joy. Best wishes to you.

lifecanbeashit said...

Those are the best feelings and the scariest!
I walk around all day hoping i will feel another one. Im so scared they will stop.

Hugs
xxx

Ange said...

oh I am so so happy for you..yes it must be exciting mixed with anxiety.

Smiling said...

I just stumble upon your blog today from Lost and Found...

what a beautiful post! thanks for sharing your secret.

Glad to hear that your daughter is recovering -- sorry to hear about having to pass through hallways that contain such sad memories. Its amazing the power places can have to store our stories - happy and sad.