Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Dreamin'

Just how much stock should you put in your dreams?

Before losing Owen, I had a recurring dream that the baby was born before 28 weeks and I left the hospital without him. Of course, at the time I assumed that meant the baby was in the NICU and worried about preterm labor when I wasn't chastising myself for being silly. We all know how that turned out.

This time around, I've been dreaming that this baby is born not breathing and needs some assistance immediately. I suppose the redeeming factor in these dreams is that, in the dreams, I know the baby will be fine in the end. However, I'm conflicted as to what I want to do about these dreams. I hesitate to discuss them with my midwives for fear of being dismissed as a crazy alarmist deadbabymomma. (Not that they've ever given me any reason to feel that way, but all the same...) But at the same time, I can't bring myself to call them just dreams. I mean, what if? What would you do?

10 comments:

niobe said...

It wasn't a dream, but the night before my 18-week ultrasound, when there was absolutely no reason to think anything was wrong, I suddenly said "I have preeclampsia and I'm going to die." Of course, I didn't die, but....

Clarissa said...

At the end of it all, they are just that…DREAMS.

But if it makes you feel better – I would casually bring it up to your midwife. Tell her, despite knowing deep down the dreams don’t mean anything – you still worry. The traumatic event of birthing a stillborn son has left you well…traumatized. And you cannot help think that these dreams have some meaning…like a clue to your future.

I think being an OB patient is not just what goes on in harvesting a human being but there is a mental component to it. And a midwife or OB should be clued into your psyche.

yummysushipajamas said...

I would absolutely talk to your midwives about it. If nothing else, they can at least reassure you of the ways they will be prepared in case something does happen. I think pregnant women, especially those who have lost, absolutely cannot be too concerned.

G said...

I am all for full disclosure to the midwive/ob about the dream. Because the fact is, now that the dream has occured, you will have anxiety and fear about that (among all the other things, grats!). It can't hurt just to give them a heads up.

I am glad the dream ended well though. Just remember the old way (or was it just in movies?) where they would have to smack the baby on the tooshie to get him/her breathing right after birth. Maybe that stuff is seeping in, benign!

xo
g

k@lakly said...

I believe in listening to your inner voice. I also believe that after living with the nightmare of stillbirth, you are entitled to whatever extra precautions you need or want for you and your baby. Screw what anyone says or thinks about you and what you ask for. It is your baby Ashleigh and there are too many moms here in deadbaby land who lost their babies at full term b/c midwives or others didn't listen to them.
You don't even have to tell them about your dream, just let them know and your OB especially, that you want extra monitoring. If they question you, just say, I will not lose another baby and I want everything done to make sure of it.

I hope you have some more reassuring dreams in the coming weeks:)

Azaera said...

yeah it's no suprise you're worried about it. I dreamed the other night that I was going to the bathroom and when I checked the tp there was blood.. (tmi i know) so far hasn't happened yet, I'm hoping it's just my subconscious being scared for me that the same thing is going to happen this time as what happened last time. I guess I am trying to say that it's no wonder that with all the worrying that deadbabymamas do that one would have scary dreams.

Carole said...

I agree with what yummy said. I would think the midwives would be understanding...and it would be reassuring to know that there is a plan in place for your concerns.
~Carole
http://thejourneyfromhere.blogspot.com

Jenna said...

Please, DO NOT HESITATE to speak with your providers about this. And there is no reason to be coy or dismissive, either. No one is going to think you are claiming your dreams manifest. As others have said, the fact that this situation is in your mind now means that it should be addressed with your team. You deserve support in every way (we all do) and you will not get it in this one area unless you ask for it (because they can't know the need for it, otherwise). Give the midwives this chance to take the best possible care of you.

Super extreme best wishes to you xo

Catherine said...

Talk about it with your midwives. If anybody gets a 'crazy pass,' it's us deadbabymamas.

CLC said...

I second, third and fourth what everyone else said.