Thursday, April 10, 2008

Dreaming

I had my first real dream about this baby last night. It was so realistic, and in parts disturbing, that even now hours after waking up, I can't stop thinking about it. In the dream, I was in a hospital room by myself. I was in labor. I was concerned and felt like the nurses were ignoring me. So I got up and took a bath. While I was in the tub, the baby, a girl, was born. She was not breathing. I scooped her out of the bath and went sat on the bed with her. I leaned over and breathed into her mouth and she started breathing, but not crying. I was the one who was crying. I felt like I had done something wrong and I didn't want to tell anyone what had happened. So, I just sat there with her, holding her to my chest. Later, much later, a nurse came in and immediately began chastising me for not calling anyone and telling me that she could have died from dehydration. Then I woke up.

I guess it wasn't the worst dream I could have had. However, it's left me with this vague unsettled feeling that I don't particularly like. *Sigh* I wish things were simple again.

4 comments:

c. said...

Wow, Ashleigh. Of course that would make you feel unsettled. I would feel the same way. It would be a hard dream to forget...

yummysushipajamas said...

I am so sorry! I know that dream must have really shaken you. Just remember that it is only a dream, and I think it's just your way of working through your fears.

If you're really feeling concerned at all, start bugging the doctors! I hear they like that. :)

CLC said...

Ugh, what a dream. I would be unsettled too. I second Yummy..bug the doctors if you have concerns.

Clarissa said...

I wish things were simple too. Don't read too much into the dream. I understand how it might have left you feeling unsettled. I wish our dreams were more positive - but I'd even take not dreaming at all, as an alternative.

Take care.