Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Frozen

Two years ago today I woke up and knew he was gone. I tried to pretend for as long as I could, but I knew. I still feel physically sick when I allow myself to remember how in instant I knew I was suddenly alone. That knowing was the worst part and in some ways I have been alone ever since. Although Owen was born tomorrow, today is the day I lost him. This is the second anniversary of the worst day of my life.

All those terrible moments, just frozen in my mind. I wonder will this day always be like this?

6 comments:

Sarah said...

That's how the 27th was for me - that was the worst day of my life, the day I lost Isabel. The 29th - 2 years ago today - was the day it was finally over, but not as bad as the day we found out.

Champagne - Miner said...

You will always remember and in some way always ache for this little boy you can only imagine beyond his appearance. He was a beautiful child and was taken way too soon. He will always be in your heart.

Julia said...

I am sorry.
Two years was very hard for me. Everything around me seemed too ordinary, too regular for the enormity of the dates. Creeping up on it was hardest, but the days too...
Thinking of you, and wishing you a measure of peace.

k@lakly said...

Something tells me that yes, it will always be like this. And somehow that is ok with me. As it should be. A loss like ours deserves a certain level of pain that stays constant. Even as we 'go on' with our lives, as you say, a part of us, a large part of us, remains frozen in that moment when we knew our lives had been broken and there came the before, the after, and the moment that rests forever, so heavily in between.

xxoo

charmedgirl said...

oh my god...i know. i just knew, too. it's horrible, remembering those details.

today is my birthday, and owen's.
thinking of you.

c. said...

I wonder this, too...