Monday, July 27, 2009

Waiting

We went to the cemetery this weekend again. I like that J & K get more and more comfortable there. Is that wrong? We planted some new flowers for him and cleaned his stone. Its morbid but I can't help but wonder what if anything is left of him.


It will be two years on July 30. God, two years, how did that happen? I remember him and I wonder how I kept going, how I keep going; how life kept on, keeps on moving. At the same time, I know there is a part of me that is frozen there. A part of me that will continue to relive July 29 & 30 2007 for the rest of my life. As if somehow, sometime I will remember those days with a different ending. One where I get to keep my baby boy.

4 comments:

Sarah said...

It will be two years for me on July 29. I so totally can relate - moving and frozen at the same time. I feel normal some days, and then I remember. I'm not normal and never will be again.

I'll be thinking of you Ash :)

Sue said...

I'll be thinking of you this week.

Sometimes I look at the calendar and think, "how is it possible?" that so much time has gone by?

I wish you had gotten to keep your baby boy.

AG said...

It will be two years for me on July 31st. I miss my baby girl so much. It's so strange that it feels like yesterday but at the same time, I feel like I've been grieving for a decade!

Know that you are not alone!

AG

k@lakly said...

I think it is sweet that they like to go where Owen's memory and resting place is. It's good that they will always be able to share him with you.
2 years....how can such a short time feel like so many lifetimes? I'll be thinking of you and Owen and holding you close in my heart.
xxoo