Tuesday, December 23, 2008

An Elephant Never Forgets

The other day, it happened. Something that I've been dreading for some time, but also somewhat expecting. It happened with someone I am very close to.

We were standing around,chatting amiably as I juggled Eden in my arms while doing several other things. She remarked laughing, "You can tell she's your third baby, can't you?"
"Fourth" I replied softly, sort of half under my breath.
"What?" She said, looking at me blankly. My heart sank.
"Owen. Owen was my third baby. Eden is my fourth." I responded, trying keep my voice light.
"Oh, no, I just.... I mean... I didn't..." She stammered. "I for-"
And then, blessedly, Eden vomited down my front allowing me to escape the inevitable.

I think if I had had to stand there and listen to her finish her thought, if I had to listen to her say she forgot about my son, I would have been the one vomiting.


k@lakly said...

I get that too. Most often from people who don't know. I go back and forth on what I tell them. Sometimes it's just easier in the moment to let it go, eventhough it rips my heart out on the inside.
We really do need our scarlett letter don't we?

Cara said...

Yup. the number don't add up for most people and I hate that its my job to do the math for them.

But I do. It is my job. I'm her mother. Owen's your third, always. I love his name.

Julia said...

Punching. I would've been the one punching.

I am kinda still waiting on that one, in all its glory. I had two good friends say something about life with two, but that's what they meant, and it was clear from the context-- two at home. Though I still found the way to correct both of them, as they are good friends, and they both took it the way it was meant-- as a reminder that I count A always. But you know that the first asshat who states that I have 2 children wins something lovely, like my boot so far up their ass they will be coughing it up. I even think I know who that first asshat is likely to be, and I am expecting it to be very-very soon...

Sue said...

Oh, God. Thank god for vomit. I'm so sorry.

CLC said...

What timing on Eden's part, bless her little heart. That's got to be so hard. It's just a reminder of what we all suspect- that everyone forgets but us. I am sorry you had to hear that.

Gal aka SuperMommy said...

Ouch... I'm so sorry, and so glad that Eden vomited and spared you having to hear her process.

Ann said...

Those little things mean so much.

I have a friend who, on several occasions, has accidentally called my son Tyler by the name Zach--my first baby. You'd think it would bother me. Actually, it makes me happy. Isn't that what happens with siblings? People keep on calling the second one by the first one's name? And Zach and Tyler are still siblings.

Ange said...

Oh don't you hate that. Its so annoying that you have to do this but just a couple of weeks ago I too made a girlfriend splutter when she mentioned this being my 2nd. God damm them. Hope you had a nice holiday season with the new addition. Take care

Anonymous said...

I get that all the time as well. Sometimes even from family!!!!

Hope you had a nice Christmas and New year.


Rosalind said...

That makes me really angry that she was even going to utter 'I forgot...'...people have absolutey no sense sometimes. Just thought less

Clarissa said...

Eden's vomit should have been directed to your friend :)

Its actually happened to me too - a few times already. I've become quite the pro at correcting their unconscious forgetfulness. They always apologize...I am sorry too that Amelie has already been forgotten in their eyes. I'm sorry they never got a chance to know her and remember her in the way we do.

One a tangent here, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!