Thursday, August 20, 2009


I'm still learning how to be Owen's mother. I'm sorry to say it has not come naturally to me.

I struggle to find a way to make him part of our lives in a current way. To somehow confirm to myself that he was here and that his life and death mattered.

That he was more than just loss.

Thank you to Carly of To Write Their Names in the Sand for this beautiful image. As she knows only too well, sometimes words aren't adequate.


c. said...

I think you do the best you can, Ashleigh. Maybe the "how" will become easier over time; maybe not. In any case, Owen mattered. He still does. XO.

Cara said...

Owen will find his way into your life, in the ways that matter.

He is your son. You two are connected forever.


Julia said...

It's a beautiful image.

And you know, there is nothing natural about having to parent a child who is not here. So it's hard to say how something like that would come to one "naturally." I think you find your own way, over time. It doesn't have to be big obvious things. It is just whatever works for you and your family.

Clarissa said...

Ashleigh, your words really have penetrated me. I know how hard it must be and still is - finding the right place for Owen in your life and in this world.

My heart is with you today.

lifecanbeashit said...

I think just by talking about our beautiful babies makes them part of our lives.

The photo is beautiful. They did one for us/Zak and we had it blown up and framed. Its on the wall next to a pic of G.